Mon Dec 24, 2001 6:54 pm

Depression Note #4

I WAS SITTING IN THE SUBWAY, TIRED AND WORN OUT
FROM WORK AND SITTING CROSSED-LEGGED READING MY BOOK
AND TRYING TO PAY NO ATTENTION TO ANYONE.
CROSS MY
SEAT 2 GIRLS WERE SITTIN FACING EACH OTHER AND IN A
LOUD CONVERSATION.

NOSY AS I AM, AFTER A WHILE
I GOT DISTRACTED BY ONE OF THE GIRL'S VOICE AND
SLANG LANGUAGE AND
NATURALLY I PAYED ATTENTION TO
WHAT SHE WAS SAYING , OR BETTER SAID, HER MANNER OF
SPEACH.

I STARTED TO COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES SHE WOULD
SAY , "LIKE" AND "SHIT" USING MY FINGERS.

THE
NUMBER WENT HIGHER AND HIGHER AND AFTER A WHILE I FORGOT
READING MY BOOK AND FOCUSED ON HER CONVERATION WHICH WAS
TOTALLY CHEAP BUT NEVERTHELESS AMAZINGLY FULL OF "LIKE"
AND "SHIT"!!!

WHEN SHE FINALLY GOT OFF 10
MINUTES LATER AND GREETED HER FRIEND, THE TOTAL SUM WAS
:
"LIKE" 124 TIMES
"SHIT" 56
TIMES

AMAZING!

I WAS SO SUPRISED BY THE FACT THAT HOW DEGENERADED
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS BECOME,

PEOPLE
NOWADAYS SPEAK IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE WHICH IS NOT ENGLISH
FOR SURE, IT'S SOMETHING ARBITARY AND DEGRADED, FULL
OF "LIKE", "FUCK", "SHIT", "EH?", "THOUGH" AND
NOTHEING ELSE MATTERS!

I WAS STILL IN MY THOUGHTS
ABOUT THIS FACT WHEN I NOTICED THAT THE OTHER GIRL
-WHICH WAS INDEED PRETTY- WAS LOOKING AT ME, OUR EYES
MET FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS AND SHE SMILED AT ME, THE
BRIGHTEST , SHINNING HAPPIEST SMILE THAT I HAD EXPERIENCED
FOR A LONG TIME IN THIS ILL-DRY SERIOUS PEOPLE
COUNTRY!

IMAGINE A GIRL SMILES AT A STRANGER JUST TO BE NICE AND
HUMAN , IN THE DARK SUBWAY ATMOSPHERE, WITH METAL
SHAKING AND SCREAMING EVERYWHERE!

I WAS SO SHOCKED
BY HER SMILING THAT I JUST LOOKED AT HER -GRIMMED
AND STONED FACE-, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S
SMILING AT ME, SO SHE SUDDENLY FELT EMBARRESED AND EAT
HER SMILE QUICKLY ( THE WHOLE THING TOOK ONLY 5
SECONDS I GUESS) AND PUT A GRIM FACE MASK LIKE ME AND
DIDN'T LOOK AT ME AGAIN , NITHER DID I, EVERYONE WENT
BACK TO NORMAL
LIFE AGAIN, HAPPY AND SATISFIED:
WEARING THEIR GRIM, SERIOUS, DEPPRESED MASKS AGAIN,
DENYING ANY HUMAN RELATION OR INTERACTION...
IT MADE
ME SO SAD TO SEE THAT IN OUR AGE WE CAN'T REALLY
TOLERATE AN HONEST SMILE, BE IT FROM A STRANGER , EVEN FOR
A SECOND , JUST TO SHOW THAT WE ARE STILL HUMANS ,
LIVING IN THIS CRAPPY WORLD.
SHAME ON THIS SOCIETY,
REALLY SHAME.